this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items

that don’t warrant a page by themselves

or seem to fit better here

pending poems  index

chronological order is from the bottom to the top of  the page

audio files can be complemented by listening to them  with the eyes closed  !

venice ,  beats going there, water and houses, not so interesting

another day, another idiot reply on youtube

i don’t get replies on youtube, i get the incoherent rambles of retards and schizophrenics intending to waste their own time and mine !

i think  cocaine  is everywhere now, its epidemic !

war in the congo, this  shakes you  up !

its like vietnam, the ground cover reduces the effectiveness of air strikes  so local militias are hugely empowered against the state !

in the ambush at the end the insurgents targeted the colonel specifically, how did they know ?

the squish squish of the camel’s feet in the very dry sand of the mauritanian  sahara

“ why is there something rather than nothing ? ”

if you have nothing, then you have something !

when you are brought up in a culture, you naturally know how to navigate its hazards, going to a new culture you don’t so its intrinsically less  “ safe ”

nastassya filippovna, you will only be tamed by love, therefore you should marry where you love

but you cannot love for that requires a certain blindness

the dying of a friend is a ghastly business one best keep away from

the dying of friends is a ghastly business one best keep away from

the dying of friends is a ghastly business one best keeps away from

religion is faux magical realism

dostoevsky’s  the idiot  is not

netta barzilai sings  toy

hmm, queen  of trance

muhammad is  an invention  imposed in 691

if you get drunk more than once once or twice in your life, you have an alcohol problem

la crau with  a view  of montmajour

jason  writes

i was thinking i shouldn’t be giving others my time when i have better things to do for myself

yes i gained something from the streaming women, but if they don’t value me being there then i’m better off leaving

james was saying months ago he used to do that with people, he’d stop talking to them and see if they noticed and tried to contact him

my  reply

well streaming has taught you quite a bit, but its time to change, it can no longer can teach you and has switched from being of benefit to you as well as those streaming women, to being only of benefit to them now and in actual fact due the constant hassle you get from the mods and other   ‘ chatters ’  is too costly in time and energy to no effect

i think its the same as me and r|zen, it was teaching me for a long time, then the gain dropped right away and taking part was way more cost than benefit

so i stopped participating and just look at it occasionally

those women should be privileging you and not tossing you to the usual net dogs, just like the mods should have been for me on r|zen, but they are perverse and effectively  “ anti-privileging ”  both you and me, so given that sort of negativity and toxicity there has to be very good reason to be involved and there is not !

being a teacher is an illusion or delusion

wolfgang paalen  painted  combat of the saturnian princes III, 1937

you always get incompetence with external compulsion

you always get incompetence with compulsion

there is more vastness in the world than we can see

wanderingronin77, you have dementia on top of retardation on top of schizophrenia and mind numblingly bad artistic and literary abilities !

you can talk about love, but its meta and that distance means naturally that its not love

ingesting iodine upsets the microbiome

tincture on the skin under the forearms seems to be ok

its really difficult to tell what is happening with the heart short of an echocardiogram !

were the eyes such wells of candor into the soul then we would be able to judge anybody by their looks !

sadly it is not so

were the eyes such wells of candor into the soul then we would be able to judge anybody by their looks !

interestingly i think the current leading edge thinking is more than one universe, but not as many as you might think and perhaps not hugely different from this one

some people might find me cold and i am !

argumentum ad hominem can actually be a powerful cognitive technique since the insane are usually consistently insane

that is, some-one who spews nonsense will always spew nonsense

argumentum ad hominem can actually be a powerful cognitive technique since the insane are usually consistently insane

a powerful 3D reconstruction of a royal egyptian head possibly nefertiti, or  a relative  to explain the resemblance !

when i look at it, i don’t think the  “ younger woman ”  is nefertiti

I       II

i can never entirely predict how i peel an apple except i use a peeler !

augustin lesage

 nefertiti’s  head  1949

blog

the visionary is the entry into another larger world than this

if you are enlightened, you are always stepping through the insanity

partly your own

if you are enlightened, you are always stepping through the insanity

we think we exist but we don’t

universes are food particles stuck between our teeth

we think we exist but we don’t

a nicolas chamfort quote

all passions exaggerate, as they are passions because they exaggerate

fly through  the orion nebula

its  position  in the night sky

i seem to be into the destruction of social sibboleths these days

the ex alcoholic  “ unknown ”  painter is much  better  than the  “ known ”  painter

yes they are all mentally ill, especially the video production team !

its all cringingly normative and bad !

marie robertson

tracey keller

women set themselves out as a lure basically, don’t take the bait !

jason is thinking of quitting his soccer coaching

my  comment

concussion problems with soccer are already well known enough that enrolments are being reduced compared to what they might be, it can take a decade before the rule making bodies remedy the situation

its like the vet work, there’s no money in no growth areas, unlike computing !

how can you support a sport that has brain damage a consequence of the way its played ?

the purpose of r|zen is to keep the mongoloid idiots frothing at each other

deep insight is on the edge of madness

the dead sea scrolls, all that  attention  like they mean something when the reality is endless meaningless rubbish

nothing justifies dying on a battlefield in your prime, this is why state supported religions create fictious systems of justification, from ancient egypt to isis

‘ zen just turns out to be another religion

what will you say ’

nothing

zen just turns out to be another religion

what will you say

nothing

if you can’t do it, often you don’t want to do it

teens grow into boring adults

why ?  

the energy of the cycle of life has left them  !

teens grow into boring adults

why ?

the energy of the cycle of life has left them

john loori, you were about as buddhist as an isis jihadist !

apart from the lack of money, unemployment is an ideal state

apart for the lack of money, unemployment is an ideal state

unemployment, apart for the lack of money, its an ideal state

despite appearances

all families are on the edge of dysfunction

despite appearances, all families are on the edge of dysfunction

all families are on the edge of dysfunction

everything is repeating patterns  !

everything is repeating patterns !

everything is repeating patterns

anybody has more brains than me

the female universe is just as flawed, fractured and incomplete as the male universe

joan tollifson, don’t you feel foolish, writing bullshit endlessly ?

i guess the answer is no !

sugar is not  a treat ,  a ted talk by jody stanislaw

not a million viewer is it ?

22 years after ww2 and hiroshima, they have a  very short  memory !

so, quantum gravity is begining its  slow crawl  into observable science !

“ if gravitational wave echoes exist, it would suggest that black holes are not bounded by a classical event horizon but instead by a quantum mechanical planck scale structure

one such structure put forward by theorists is a firewall which would destroy any object passing through it but retain that object’s information and so keep it outside the black hole ”

i have been doing quite of a bit of gutting of ferals over the years and seen tapeworms and lots of round worms, they are always quite white or semi-transparent and are moving, tapeworms can drop segments of course to be excreted

if you want to peer into the female soul, scrape off the make-up !

dunning-kruger people have no interest in the coherency of what they say  or  improving their knowledge ,  their aim is simply to wear you out by endless fruitless discussion and aggression

beware of engaging with them

the zen notion of  ‘ realization ’  is an artifact of schizophrenic thinking and the usual religious investing of faux meaning into a meaningless term

when you read bullshit like  this ,  one’s mouth simply hangs open at the retardation and stupidity these dunning-kruger types are capable of !

the zen notion of  ‘ realization ’  is an artifact of schizophrenic thinking and the usual religious investing of faux meaning into a meaningless term

one of world war II’s oustanding counterintelligence operations  mincemeat  had its origins in a plot line by lieutenant commander ian fleming !

as a bad  migraine  passes its peak, one just about cries from relief

my standbys are vitamin E and not eating, and also vitamin C can be helpful on a regular basis !

one of winston churchill’s astutest moves was to nix any assassination attempts on hitler, perhaps because of the lesson of his own disasterous interference in the admiralty at the beginning of the war

both stalin and churchill learnt the lesson of not interfering too greatly in the armed services operations, hitler never did dooming german efforts !

interestingly, churchill was a   power user of propaganda !

young women, a man is going to fall in love with you and solve all your problems or more likely you are going to fall in love with him and get nothing but problems

sane women suck at acting

sane women don’t make particularly good actresses

sane people don’t make particularly good actresses or actors

sometimes it pays to take stock of what you are doing and why

bente kahan sings  ‘ letter  to my son ’

lyrics by ilse weber

a nightmare knocked on my door last night

buxom

flippant

narcissistic

what can i do

wait it out

a nightmare knocked on my door last night

buxom

flippant

narcissistic

what could i do

wait it out

advice to jason

what i would say is that streaming is taking too much emotional energy and you need that energy for your own life, work skills, diet and supplements and actually real life

as you get older the window gets narrower and its closing in on you

even by thirty without skills you are pretty unemployable except in very menial jobs and even then, young physically fit men have a considerable edge

the other problem with streaming is you are getting too mixed with  “ hoi polloi ”

they are blind breeders and not much more and will keep you down at their level

winter sun

shadows in the grass

so charles bukowski was a big fan of fyodor dostoevsky who seemed to write good  soap operas  !

contrary to the ignorant idiots who promote him, charles was  well read  and extremely literate !

streaming, all the beta males arguing over a fuck they never get

there’s just nothing you can do with people unconcious of their ignorance and incompetence

there’s just nothing you can do with people unconcious of their ignorance

coating on the tongue is due to bad biofilm in the stomach, cracks can be due to poor nutrition

biofilm is more bacteria than yeast

“ caroline used to party a lot ”

could have been a contributing factor to her health getting messed, drugs, bad hours, poor food, caught something stealthy with casual sex

endless the idiots, the wannabe priests

there is no state of sufficient knowledge or being where life becomes resolvable or even palatable

thirty-one family members killed in syria is possibly a higher number than most in the holocaust !

i feel there is some sort of  discontinuity  here !

its distressing, everyone has an opinion, no-one has any understanding

you are bizarrely unconscious of your incompetence, what can i say ?

you are completely unconcious of your incompetence

australia and new zealand had  the highest rate  of amphetamine dependence  (491.5 per 100,000 people) ,  as well as high rates of dependence on marijuana  (694  cases per  100,000 people) ,  opioids  (510  per 100,000)  and cocaine use  (160.5  per  100,000  people)

you’re telling me, a neighbour on speed is an unforgettable experience !

i think there’s a point at which things can get silly

alcohol has always been at this point in hollywood

i think there’s a point at which things can get silly

alcohol has mostly been at this point in hollywood

i think there’s a point at which things can get silly

three high functioning  autistics

they give each other time to speak !

alcohol is such a meme these days, like  ‘ no consequences ’

nerites’  “ cocaine mod ”  biggest problem is cocaine and dealers never keep out of prison

charles bukowski got a very good deal out of linda beighle, at least an extra ten years of life actually

you seem very adverse to self-educating yourself ,  why?

jason  replies

i really avoid  “ work ” ,  i want everything to be enjoyable

you were talking about  ‘ eating the lotus ’

you seem very adverse to self-educating yourself ,  why?

the streamer mods, like all men are stupid about women, being used for what and all that !

people insist something has been said and they know what has been said

but is  ‘ what has been said ’  meaningful  ?

it was late at night and there was this strange black cat sleeping in the wheelbarrow and i didn’t know any black cats

it meowed and lifted its head revealing a white muzzle on one side

i knew it !

take your lame brain idiocy back to joust with the retards on r|zen

you’re another millennial fatigued by even the thought of doing any research yourself  ?

you’re another millennial fatigued by even the thought of doing any research yourself  ?

you’re another millennial fatigued by even the thought of doing any research yourself

i’m not an atheist

but if you asked me about god

i would ask

what  you

meant

by

god

i’m not an atheist

but if you asked me about god

i would ask

what you

meant

by

god

still fucking men who don’t do anything for you  ?

its not about sex is it ?

still fucking men who don’t do anything for you

its not about sex is it ?

everybody reacts against me

it has taken me more than half a lifetime

to realise

everybody

is

an

idiot

everybody reacts against me

it has taken me more than half a lifetime to

realise

everybody

is

an

idiot

everybody reacts against me

its taken me more than half a lifetime to

realise

everybody

is

an

idiot

the ra ra bullshit from the idiot suicidals, there’s a whole heap of them out there writing sentimental puke !

sierra demulder ,  lang lev, nikita gill, trista mateer and the king of self indulgent crap  beau taplin  !

beau

between the ex’s

wine

and plagiarism

where is he ?

well sierra demulder comes across much better in  this poem  about her grandfather’s dementia !

her  tampon poem  is witty

the only way you can understand what zen is about is being a life failure and seeing through the eye of disenchantment !

brad warner replies

it seems like that.  maybe failure is the best thing that can happen

my  reply

its not the best thing at all, this is the whole point !

i’m not being facetious here !

the  “ eye of disenchantment ”  is brutal and i notice those who you would expect to look with it, never do !

the only way you can understand what zen is about is being a life failure and seeing through the eye of disenchantment !

i take brad warner to task

you are using what the buddha supposedly said as necessarily being true or even a bit true rather than the arrant fictional nonsense from an entirely fictional person  it is

i have mentioned this before but it seems to float straight past you

why do you waste your life on a bad, millennial long soap opera ?

meditation makes you blind and narrow minded !

a usual idiot replies

blind to what ?

if your mind narrows from your meditation practice, you are not doing it right

my  reply

one of the things about the web is people can promote meditation, but that doesn’t mean they are doing any significant amount which i would take to be your case because you don’t understand the problems and are unthinkingly defensive and dogmatic !

what  you wrote  is naive and clichéd, what can i say ?

do i have to repeat ?

meditation makes you blind and narrow minded !

no culture, no reading, no understanding !

huh, the original  “ torah observant ”  christianity ,  i.e. fully jewish split into paul’s version and islam

religious paradigms

the whole thing is an illusion

there’s just nothing

in zen people are trying to separate semantic content from the writing

but the translations are devoid of that unity

and

the

whole

thing

is

a mistake

ten years passes in the blink of an eye

beauty fades

there is honor in death

there is no honor in death

there is no honour in death

who wants  to eat  feathers ?

eagles pluck before eating too !

best seen full screen, very vivid !

one of the odd things about the  flower duet  is there is a subtle syncronization between the singers that takes the first half or even longer of the song to occur

she wants to play chess

i want to play backgammon

in a war of attrition i have no chance

where there is randomness i might

she wants to play chess

i want to play backgammon

in a war of attrition i have no chance

where there is some randomness i might

the odd thing about hallmark movies is the extent to which they are written by men !

bad move hallmark !

“ what is zen ? ”

i think its like  ‘ god ’ ,  basically a word rendered meaningless by its public domain use and endless and extremely variant private conscription !

rather fascinating that the russian spaniel  ‘ joy ’  and only survivor of the massacre at yekaterinburg ended up as  the pet  of the british royal family !

happier days

if you supplement a yeast based chromium, do you pasturize it to 69° celsius  ?

if you are not going to do that you are better to use a polynicotinate chromium like the source naturals  “ chromate chromium gtf ”  as it doesn’t need pasturizing like a yeast based chromium supplement

its not that they don’t kill the yeast when they make the yeast based chromium, but that its so fertile that you get a biofilm established in it again !

soy in the form of lecithin is quite different from soy per se, however some people find lecithin a problem with ibs

are you having specific digestive issues ?

sugar has to be cut out completely, as for wheat, you will have to work that out

since corn chips give you an immediate stomach ache, most likely they are only partially cooked and cutting them out completely is a no-brainer

rashes on the skin can be from fruit or table sugar feeding biofilm on the skin

you need to read the labels of food you buy and learn to gauge the amount of sugar in them and distinguish added from sugars naturally in fruit or whatever

its shocking to see the sugar amounts of most products

oddly enough, even though i get migraine, i don’t get headaches from sugar like you do

given your portuguese genetics, i would assume you are prediabetic or hypoglycemic and the headaches are a sign of pancreatic malfunction and sugar is going to be a no no for you

i think you are pre diabetic, probably hypoglycemic, you need to get the chromium supplementation right and be much more aware of your sugar intake

too much chromium makes for hypoglycemia though, i don’t take chromium every day, more like several times a week

hypoglycemia is the first step on the road to diabetes

the basic problem is the production of insulin is toxic to the cells that produce them, a weird evolutionary design fuck up of the first order

so the more insulin you produce the more the cells get damaged

if you eat too much sugar then you are producing a lot of insulin to keep the blood blood sugar in a safe range

maybe a significant fast would be a good idea for you when the opportunity arises

“ when i exercise hard i’ll sometimes get tingling feelings in my hands, which is some low blood sugar symptom i think ”

tingling can be nerve damage, very serious

on holiday in japan and look how many  carats  that ring is  (brought over the net, i wonder what the security for the transport was ?)

anyway the net can pay well !

i just had a thought, maybe its a look-alike gem and not diamond, in which case, good for felix !

i don’t fast unless i have a migraine or a bad virus

basically the BBC  ‘ atlantis ’  series is rubbish and watching it is counterproductive

actually inane or almost inane  !

maybe its both

actually inane or almost inane  !

actually inane or almost inane

i don’t suppose she’ll change

people never do

i don’t suppose she will change

people never do

i don’t suppose she’ll change

i don’t suppose she will change

the whole male/female thing

what a disaster  !

the whole male/female thing

what a disaster !

the whole male/female thing

what a disaster

“ I believe in world improvement ”

you don’t read poetry ?

“ no i don’t ”

if you did, you would know people’s innermost thoughts and the whole notion of improvement is a waste of time

its important to understand god is powerless ,  a lot of the objections to god drop away when you see that

of course you can wonder about  ‘ god ’  for a very long time and not get anywhere as befits a term so shaped/warped by the public domain

there’s the  real life  versus the  fantasy life ,  i know which one is me

“ i teach  religion  to school childen, but i do not know if god exists or not and i do not care ”

a really good action  scene  from the bbc production  “ atlantis ”

i can see why they dropped it, way too expensive to make for the limited audience !

i love  morocco ,  so much history and the arabian nights atmosphere !

its also the home of the  first humans  !

why do actors and actresses have such problems with drugs, i have never seen anything like it !

why do actors and actresses have such problems with alcohol, i have never seen anything like it !

what i have noticed with the really good/popular actresses and actors is they are quite bit smarter and more vebally accomplished that the hoi polloi and even the second rate in their own profession !

probably the main reason for the failure of the laftwaffe in the battle of britain was the fact they had no well armed  heavy bombers  but had to make do with dated ineffectively armed  light bombers

this was due to a strategic decision forced on the luftwaffe to stick with twin engined bombers

hitler was childless, its very important to understand that deliberately childess, all that energy going in the wrong direction  .  .  .

he was killing everyone, jews and especially german soldiers, yet he wasn’t contributing to the gene pool  .  .  .

again and again i get this one thing

people who meditate go crazy

do you  (ed.  brad warner)  remember adam tebbe ?

he travelled around zen centers making a film about zen and really pushed zazen, then he got a job lifting boxes which was hard physical work and he said that greatly helped the depression and zazen made it worse !

he’s now a  born again  christian after a run-in with  “ demonic forces ”  which living in ohio would be a safer bet than buddhism !

why people put so much energy into being wrong is beyond me  !

in terms of being a writer, any publicity is good publicity

you lack discernment and there’s no repair !

i’m not saying you are schizophrenic, but you have a schizophrenic like disregard for detail and getting things right

puppet  dancing  to the song  despacito

well, i never feel balanced and never observed a single balanced person in my life !

there’s no such thing as balance in life, you are chasing a dream !

just be warned, people with mental health problems can be made worse by meditation and in fact zen retreats go to some trouble to weed out people at risk !

if i win, i may not deserve to win, if i come second i may deserve to win

this may not make sense to you !

if i win, i may not deserve to win, if i come second i may deserve to win

the elephant  in the room  was endemic syphilis and gonorrhea, gonorrhea being asymptomatic in most women !

actresses have a huge problem with signficant work being spaced over the years now and their aging at a rate greater than the work can keep up with, flowers wilting too rapidly on the stem so to speak !

i was thinking the superreal never happens to me, but the visionary is superreal

the world of  ‘ emma ’  can only exist in the imagination

what is it about these benign worlds ?

they become unbenign soon enough

the world of  ‘ emma ’  can only exist in the imagination

what is it about these benign worlds ?

if we stop to look there is tragedy all around us

tears and laughter engulf us

mainly for ourselves i suspect

if we stop to look there is tragedy all around us

“ there is four to five kilos of  pressure  on the neck when the head is upright

a figure that increases to 18kg with the head tilted forward 30°, and 27kg at 60° ”

this would also be applicable to the upper vis-à-vis the lower back imo !

there is nothing more important in life than being happy

pity its such an elusive target

its a rare woman that can think straight

they exist

but

not often

its a rare woman that can think straight

how deep the longing is

“ but i have faith, that is all i have, you just have to have faith brother andrew ”

if you have a false faith and that’s all you have, then all you have is falseness !

you said it !

you can never know how things turn out so things are always better done in stages

the severity of health and drug problems with those streaming women is a bit of an eye opener !

they have active sex lives and take the consequences of the displaced attention

if you are taking vitamin K and vitamin D ,  you will need to take vitamin A occasionally to balance them up

christians having faith doesn’t make jesus any less of a fantasy !

zazen basically makes the workings of the brain  “ default circuit ”  more apparent, but it will also engrave deeper existing patterns of operation which is a severe problem !

this  “ contemplative ”  work is best done simply by being by yourself and the zazen nonsense with its metabolic and joint problems is unnecessary

the huge mistake  “ meditators ”  make is not to read widely of quality work, without that you get what happens ,  long term meditators completely wasting their time and driven a touch insane !

the racial profile of the portuguese is   susceptible  to diabetes

what sugar does is increase insulin production so eventually the insulin islets get burnt out and you get diabetes !

maybe 48 hours  fasting  for humans as mice have a much faster metabolism

“ fasting induces a metabolic switch in the intestinal stem cells, from utilizing carbohydrates to burning fat

interestingly, switching these cells to fatty acid oxidation enhanced their function significantly ”

racial hybridization gives vigour but it can also mess the immune system

cancer and some other conditions have a higher probability

writing is ruthless in its need for material

writing is ruthless in its need for more material

writing is pretty ruthless in its need for more material

its quite disconcerting to have one’s advice taken

if there’s any danger of it being taken, its better not to give it

oscar mild

when an ex doesn’t want to talk to you, that’s part of the  “ get out of jail free ”

or not

when an ex doesn’t want to talk to you, that’s part of the  “ get out of jail free ”

in my years of dealing with people and health problems on the net, most prefer the path of death and ill health to thinking rationally and investigating and experimenting about them

i am not sure i would be alive myself, if i hadn’t done so, interestingly things have come together very well recently    .    .    .

biofilms are a coming thing in health, microbiome is another term

re health, people just want to pop a pill and get quite savage when their views are disrupted

linji, while on a pilgrimage, arrived at the longguang’s monastery

longguang had already ascended the high seat when linji advanced and asked  “ without unsheathing the point of a weapon, how can one win a battle ? ”

longguang straightened up in his seat

“ has your reverence no answer ? ”  scoffed linji

longguang sighed then looked at linji

linji pointed his finger at longguang and said  “ today you lose, old man ”

the 7th patriarch materialised besides longguang and said   “ outcomes are uncertain ”  and he and longguang kicked linji out the door

the 7th patriarch disappeared again

linji asked longguang

without unsheathing the point of a weapon, how can one win a battle ?

my  reply

outcomes are uncertain

there’s a lot of research these days showing that sitting too long  (any type of sitting)  damages the health significantly

other research shows that daily exercise  (don’t overdo it)  is also essential for brain health and acts as an anti depressant

i’m disabled, i can think

ivor  perl

people always ask me if i hate germans, but it was the hungarian boys i used to play football with in my home town who rounded us up into  the ghetto  with sticks

you can’t go around searching for completion, its ridiculous

everything is incomplete

there is a better, more wonderful life waiting for us

its the nature of an illusion to be compelling

sylvia plath’s  “ fixed stars ”  around which we revolve

she could see it clearly yet they tore her apart

i think i have always been looking for unconditional acceptance

i don’t know why

is that what women look for and only find it in children ?

the nobel prize for literature committee is bearing the consequences for last years bizarre award to bob  “ the plagiarist ”  dylan !

of course no-one says its for that reason, but the decision was insane !

women are very conventional, i mean they are all murderers underneath, but the public face is very conventional

you have a question but there is no answer you can hear or even observe

you can have a question but there is no answer you can hear or even observe

looking at  this  on anaïs nin after many years i hadn’t realised how good it was !

oddly  compelling

‘ the ballad of north henan ’    played  on piano and erhu

huang sun as the erhuist in the butterfly  song

a correspondent replies to my comment about knowing infinity directly

Empty yet cognizant ?

I was sitting outside in our garden the other day  —  I am fortunate to have a large garden, its almost like a mini park  —  doing nothing in particular, and it all seemed like a dream being painted on a canvas empty surface.  This canvas cannot be said to exist in time or space; as it is time and space, so it is in a state we could call the fourth time  (first thee being present, past and future)

Usually one thinks the  “ I ” /eye is watching the painting on this canvas   .  .  .   that is the illusion.  Instead it is the canvas itself that  “ sees ” ,  that is cognizant.  We ourselves are being painted on it

It is like a black surface  —  maybe like a black lake, that is timeless and positionless, and then a dreamlike colorful bubbling appears creating ripples which become the world  “ we ”  see

This experience I had the other day reminds me of your poem about the black stream and the dreamlike ink

Its all very visual

windless, in the morning light

the sea mist hangs over all

out in the bay becalmed

a boat, line over the side

nothing biting

ed.  i wrote the above in response  to

is that a lie or is that a translation ?

how pathetic !

beyond the sky and the sea

what is there ?

nothing

beyond the sky and the sea

what is there ?

beyond the sky and sea

what is there ?

that’s r|zen, everyone thinks they know what they are talking about, but no-one does

i remember john loori justifying hierarchies in zen as something everyone else does, but in my view its a false mimic and substitute for privileging through real competence and understanding

i use the word  “ retardation ”  a lot ,  but it seems likely to be misunderstood

from the solipsist point of view retardation and intelligence are both your characterisitcs

the world may consider you intelligent or retarded, but how do you judge yourself ?

intelligence and understanding take you into completely different, strange, but plastic worlds

an agreement is not worth the paper its written on

isn’t  master plan  and  “ we are all one ”  the problem of aesthetically prioritised schema that you  complain  about  ?

we must take our little claims to fame, small as they are

you can’t fix the world ,  its unfixable

whatever you do, a later generation will undo it

you can’t fix the world ,  its unfixable !

whatever you do, a later generation will undo it !

they should have never killed rasputin, a peace with germany was only hope the romanov dynasty had !

its really weird ,  their life ;  more strange than fiction

unfortunately the tsar and tsarina were ordinary people totally unsuited for the job and as a consequence of their incompetence the murderous demons got released in the disasters of lenin and stalin !

its all quite simple, you can know infinity directly, what is that ?

ed.  in response to some long winded nonsense by zakaj

its all quite simple, you can know infinity directly, what is that ?

i think one advantage you have over me is you go for the likely cause, i muck around with unlikely causes for ever and then end up with the likely cause

with medicine you have to be almost dropping dead before they think something is wrong  !

i am not certain, but i seem to remember that toni packer’s father worked for ig farben which used jewish slave labour during world war two

i would assume that the company had close links to the gestapo and s.s. and interestingly her father’s boss was able to go to the gestapo and get some sort of exception made for her jewish mother and of course the children, i don’t even think her mother had to wear the star of david and the children weren’t excluded from school

toni didn’t look jewish at all, rather classically aryan or nordic with her blond colouring and blue or green? eyes !

interestingly the gospel of mark had a sophisticated literary author

religions are literary constructs

even the ancient egyptians !

religions are literary constructs

philology is basically reading works contemporary to the items of interest so you can cross reference the way the words are used and also the cultural and historical context and events

as you might guess this makes translation hugely time intensive and uneconomic

what makes taigu ryokan and eihei dogen difficult is they are highly literary writers with heaps of references to other author’s writings

one book i found very helpful to understand dogen is yoshida kenkō’s  ‘ tsurezuregusa ’  written a hundred years after dogen’s death and you get a very good idea of the kyoto religious culture which is just plain crazy, dogen’s building of a  “ religion ”  makes sense in the context, its simply what people expected in a hyper liturgical, ceremonial and superstitious culture

as you get more into this you will understand  “ zen ”  is a literary construct with very little relation to a real world religion or indeed what happens in  “ reality ”  at all

dogen’s problems were keeping monks occupied who, like most have very little interest in the subject and for himself, untangling all the written bullshit and developing his own cogency   .   .   .   the tuberculosis and his dying young impaired this process   .   .   .   .

dogen read very widely, its a sign of how mentally ill soto zen and zennists are that they don’t read widely, but take very flawed works that dogen wrote as  “ gospel ”

brad warner is an example of how this approach is a problem with his chronic nostalgia   .   .

trying to get a picture of what life

looks

like

an endless turning

around

and

around

trying to get a picture of what life

looks

like

an endless turning

around

and

around

a retard belches

what he can’t understand

sticks

in

his

throat

you may not tire now, but one day you will and then you will start to see things a bit differently

the clot

sticks

on

what

he

can’t

understand

“ because mountains are high and broad, their way of riding the clouds always extends from the mountains; their wonderous power of soaring in the wind comes freely from the mountains ”

my retranslation

because the mountains draw

we

draw

away

because the mountains draw us towards

we

draw

away

because the mountains draw us towards

we

are drawn

away

its not understood the extent to which zen has its origins in meiji era nationalism and oddly, since zen was completely destroyed in china during the cultural revolution, this  “ nationalistic/fascist ”  form of zen has been picked up as  “ authentic ”  by the chinese in their reinvention of ch’an  !

the  execution  of the romanovs was impeded by diamonds sewn into the children’s underwear acting as body armour

soto zen is a communal machine with a system partly based on eihei dogen’s writings as   “ inerrant ”  ie scriptural, yet dogen himself was very much into  “ enlightenment experiences ”  and seeing for yourself

also he never received transmission from tiāntóng rújìng ,  yet the whole authority system in soto zen is based on lineage transmission

meaningless !

there’s this huge gap in modern translations, they just don’t do the philology at all because of the time and cost, yet without it, you are wasting your time !

the similarity of the gibbon to the human skeleton, yet modified  is astounding  !

infinity is an unanswerable question  !

infinity is an unanswerable question

we go in circles and they eat all our time

“ i’d like to say how much i value your writing and how interesting i find it ”

i don’t often hear that so you are free to repeat it !

i think sylvia plath’s problem was a lack  of acceptance  or understanding of how abnormal she was

and

she literally burned out trying to maintain the bridge between herself and  “ normal ”

poor woman !

as i get older, i often come in a roundabout way back to conclusions i reached when much younger

as i get older, i often come in a roundabout way back to conclusions i reached when younger

we go forward and backwards at the same time

its hard to get more intellectually bankrupt than contemporary philosophy

what happened to it ?

you would make a car salesman blush with your puerile hard sell !

i don’t feel any of the translations are at all accurate, so you have to cross reference them, he was writing in a medieval culture and like ryokan, there are insurmountable philological problems

i quite liked some of the chapters in  “ moon in a dewdrop ”

eihei dogen is at his best when he is poetic, a lot of his stuff is jejune monkish bullshit though, he did change his views through his relatively short life

its taken me years to understand that when you read a translation you are reading the translator’s opinions more than what the original author wrote so often you just end up with some sort of ethos of whatever subculture the translator is part of !

when i was reading the shobogenzo i just read bits from everywhere, but basically i gave it up as a waste of time forming the view that severe philological problems prevent an accurate translation of dogen

“ he drinks a lot of diet soda ”

the problem is that, because it tastes sweet when you drink it the body gets into a sugar metabolising mode even though there is no sugar getting into the blood and this fucks the metabolism

infinity is an answerless question

infinity is the answerless question

the answerless question

tasmania

land of the 2 and 3 headed monsters

its not a benign world

but its the

one headed

who

are

more

 dangerous !

i thought i’d discuss ellipsis and lack of familiarity with context in poetry

there

i’ve

just

discussed it

why are the founder narrations of religion passed off as historically true ?

its because they imply the world works mechanistically in a way that is totally alien to our observations of the way the world really works !

why are the narrative founder stories of religion passed off as historically true ?

its because they imply the world works mechanistically in a way that is totally alien to our observations of the way the world really works !

the avengers  infinity war ,  the public taste is for posturing derivative stupidity

if brittany wants a rich boyfriend, hallmark have  some tips  !

well the thing with volunteering is there should be something in it for you which is usually gaining broader experience

thanx jason for the  marzia  and pewdipie links, yeah she’s much more artistically talented than  pewdie pie ,  probably the basis for their relationship

what is unbelievable about vivan maier is the random nature of the discovery of  her photographs  after her death, they could have easily been never discovered !

there’s no actual answer because the answer is always in relation to you

there’s no actual answer because its always in relation to you

emily is painted as the villain, but actually she is  the hero  !

“ After doing some follow-up on her, she has since been convicted of bigamy two more times

The last time was in 2012 and also for illegally obtaining a prescription medicine by posing as her seventh husband

all the court dates show her birth year as 1978, and this documentary was filmed in 2009

because the courts reference her school and medical records etc, I would say that her year of birth must be accurate

she must really be only thirty in this film

the last photos that I found were from 2012 when she was supposedly thiry-three

at that point, she does appear older than that but it might have something to do with her mental health issues or any number of other factors

ed.  imo she is hypomanic with some mixture of schizophrenia, autism and actually intelligence !

sometimes i ask what is my life ?

its not the hallmarkian universe, i seem to have got stuck in a more bland one  !

memories

a tangled mess

of

what

was

a

never

became

memories

a tangled mess

of

what

was

a

never

was

memories

a tangled mess

of

what

was

jason  writes

when people start ganging up on me for saying something completely rational, i know it has to be pretty right

voltage has two types, alternating and direct, mains power is alternating and computer power supplies take the 110 (230/240 depending on the country) alternating voltage and turn it into low direct voltages like 5 and 12 volts

just learning to measure mains voltages safely is a big deal and means you can check out house wiring

never measure voltage with the multimeter accidently set to current

just focus on the important multimeter settings which are continuity and voltage

cars run on 12 volts direct, so measure your car battery when the car is and isn’t going

continuity is the ability of a wire to transfer voltage from one end of the wire to another, if the wire is broken obviously it won’t

you have to do stuff with the multimeter, measure the resistance or check the continuity of a piece of wire

the problem is not with streaming itself, but it takes too much time and energy when you have an urgent need to develop commercially useful skills and having watched you build this new pc, i think you have a natural aptitude for computer hardware

just start doing things, like actually measuring something with a multimeter and don’t short anything out !

heaps of good videos around

i saw some youtube shorts of lars von trier’s  ‘ dogville ’ ,  its an unusual film  !

jason wonders how much charles bukowski influences the current generation

why would you say that when you know they haven’t even heard of him, or anything actually since they don’t read quality but only play games, watch streaming and listen to music ?

distortion

this is sorta  amusing ,  but its the basic arguing technique on the web, you can’t deal with it except by pointing it out, but its hostile and alienating !

to be able to truly explore views and topics is not wanted, knowledge is treated as something to be owned, defended and missionized

what is the point ?

jason  writes

there are two prevailing attitudes on the streaming scene, and the young generation’s internet on the whole

1.  of a suicidal nature saying things like  “ i want to die ”    “ i wouldn’t feel bad if that killed me ” 

2.  saying they don’t like people, they hate people

these were two strong attitudes of bukowski’s when he was younger and i wouldn’t be surprised if these stemmed from him

my  reply

i don’t agree about  “ the prevailing attitude ” ,  bukowski didn’t say he hated people, just he felt best the further they were from him

and he didn’t go around saying he wanted to die

the problem is these people are entitled idiots and they’ll die that way, charles bukowski was on a different trajectory

arguments going back and forth

swinging this way or that

forever and ever

what

does it

 matter ?

arguments swinging back and forth

going this way and that

forever and ever

what

does it

 matter ?

collioure  in the pyrenees by étienne terrus which is interestingly only 20km north of salvador dali’s haunt at port ligat

lypsinka

helicobacter pylori, diagnosis and treatment, i wonder if the tibetans are  susceptible  to it ?

my great great grandmother ,  amy levin née fitzgerald

photo

she had a philosophic streak !

war takes ordinary social life to the extremes of reality

tremors usually are very bad news, serious nervous system damage

lol, brittany the wordsmith

“ if he doesn’t give you money, don’t call him honey ”

there’s a sort of chronic  dishonesty  to this bullshit, liars to themselves and the world to live in a concentration camp, what’s the point ?

honestly zen makes people so dishonest, zazen deepens bad traits, witness brad warner’s chronic problems with nostalgia !

the real world of production

all that organizational and acting  competence  for a sucky script  !

a life lesson ? !

cocaine, the drug of choice for suicidals

interestingly it also causes  neural apoptosis ,  not a coincidence !

jason asks me what i think makes a good moderator ?

my  reply

you’d be a good moderator because you add and don’t subtract

these female streamers get dominated by mods who only subtract so they will never do well

you get closed circles of which nerites is the most egregious example

jason replied that he didn’t know if he’d want to be a moderator because its a lot of volunteer work and responsibility

the einstein  —  podolsky  —  rosen paradox says that with highly entangled objects A and B, you can tell more about B from A than looking at B directly !

i would presume this is due to the interference effect of taking direct measurements, if you look at B directly then this looking is very interfering

“ both chunks of atoms  they showed ,  were so entangled that the behavior of the second chunk was in fact more knowable when only the first was observed, and vice versa ”

this approach pans out in the macroscopic world imo !

the thoughts that come just before sleep can be very surprising

“ move on ”

what i know about you, your life, our life together, its just not possible

“ donald trump is a teetotaller ”

in addition he must have the right genes to function the way he does at his age

he’s very good at foreign policy, his weakness is his thinking about economics is very dated and his immigration policies are too broad brush

“ caroline has lupus and psoriatic arthritis ”

it could have been caused by  mono

there’s lots she can do, but she won’t be bothered to get into the process of trial and error, but will slowly get screwed over by drug side effects

i have seen people die rather than think and experiment !

drugs are not going to get the altered gene expression to  “ come right ”

since she has arthritis, caroline fits the mono profile of lupus so she probably wants to think in terms of mono

you know you  (ed. claire greenwood)  show all the signs of systematic serious depression, over identification with minorities, giving credence to the claptrap called zen

submission to insanity, what is the point of being depressed, you miss out on its rational clear seeing side !

‘ henry brocken ’  by walter de la mare would make a brilliant film, very well suited to today’s super competence in CGI special effects !

done well it would be a block buster !

be indirect in criticism or face the consequences

what is zen  ?   

   nez backwards

 what is zen  ?

nez backwards

   what is zen  ?

nez backwards   

as the butterfly floated across the lawn, its irridescent wings carving an ethereal space, a small child stopped playing and looked at it

i feel there is a story here i will never write, but could have in different circumstances

‘ beset by beauty ’

i think at some point you have to accept that you are not with the crowds, they are going to do nothing for you

jason  writes

brittany had a drinking stream last night and apparently threw up, she says she’s never been blackout drunk before and hardly ever gets drunk

‘ the art of war ’  says you should be spatially distributed, like not into wars of attrition and its best to win by subtlety and not conflict

getting a load of hassle and ptsd for what ? ,  it takes from your life rather than adds to it !

its interesting how brittany, nerites and caroline literally destroy their own efforts by their inept mods and their own lack of understanding as to what makes a successful mod

what they seem to end up with is druggies enforcing a drug friendly environment, not exactly people with spare cash !

jason  writes

nerites’ two biggest fans were often smoking pot while video chatting with her, and her other mod too

caroline’s discord is more full of alcoholics than druggies, although her head mod was defending nerites’ mod the day i left when he said  “ so what if he does cocaine ?  let him do him, i do cocaine sometimes ”

my  reply

the problem with these streamers and mods is they are so toxic and aggressive, you have completely lost touch with socially skilled and usefully intelligent people

there’s a young actress called mary kate wiles who has some  interviews  etc up on the web and she was also  “ lydia ”  in the famous internet hit  “ the lizzie bennet dairies ” ,  a modern day remake of pride and prejudice

she is socially skilled  (despite being strongly on autistic spectrum)  and interesting, a much better class of person than what you get in streaming

i found the social competence and life skill level of the cast of the lizzie bennet dairies illuminating

i often get enthused with finding new poet like elizabeth jennings, then half a day after it doesn’t look so much

how do visions differ from hallucinations  ?

i have never had an hallucination in my life just like i have never fainted, but i have read accounts and seen drawings

the basic difference is with a vision there is a huge amount of stuff that occurs that you have no memory of and everything is semantically coherent, that is, has deep meaning for you and your life

hallucinations are random and superficial which is why mushrooms and lsd are a waste of time and ayahuasca not so much so since from accounts it seems to have semantic content

visions are actually a form of emotionally weighted problem solving !

so, you can get quantum entanglement at the  macroscopic  level, like my vision with the sixth patriarch !

the one authentic event in zen for centuries and the contemporary idiots scoff, reject and ban !

what else would you expect from the toxic toads !

oddly enough years ago ,  i remember toni packer making a reference to quantum entanglement in a talk when i was at springwater, she never really talked about her  “ experiences ”  though !

i never really knew what to discuss with her, i do now but she is gone !

“ rod cells need and use twice as much  oxygen  in the dark than they do when they’re awash with light and it has been hypothesized for two decades that much of the damage caused to the retina by diabetic retinopathy occurs when the rod cells crank up their oxygen demands at night ”

whether red led light at night would  activate  the rods enough to avoid this problem is an open quesion, it may not, though there is a small  overlap  of emission and reception spectrums !

red leds are suprisingly red with a peak at 625nm and longer which would explain why they do not seem to wipe night vision !

i wonder if this rod oxygen consumption problem is why some people like night lights ?

god, i preach to everyone about the circadian rhythm, but last night i was out with a spotlight until 2.30am, was off my form and missed three wallabies and got a mangy possum   .  .

didn’t get to bed till four then couldn’t get to sleep

feel majorly fucked up today

one shot was way too close to a steer, i didn’t see him until i walked closer to see if i had got the wallaby, cattle don’t necessarily turn to face you and give eye shine and a black body can be difficult to see   .   .   .

jason writes

there’s a lot of photo and video editors, and even someone writing a book in brittany’s discord

they’re not very creative but it maybe explains why i fit in better with brittany’s community

she might be on her period right now, that would be interesting because last week she was very sexual towards me   .   .   fernando pessoa wrote in his book of disquiet about the female cycle

my  reply

a serious drug user like the cocaine guy creates a different world, plus nerites may be on cocaine as well, its a strange and toxic corner of the world

the world is full of dreary conventional minds, do you have to be one of them  ?

the world is full of dreary conventional minds, do you have to be one of them ?

there is no great general who did not make severe mistakes

but a true poet never writes something that is wrong

there is no great general who did not make severe mistakes

elizabeth jennings  reads  her poem  “ a bird in the house ”

its a funny thing about families over generations, like marries like and there are continuities that are more resilient than the genetic mixing would indictate

drug users have completely different life agendas, one of which makes them a real pain in the arse is they way they missionize their drug use and they really react against sobriety

these people will be putting all their energy in trying to disrupt you

just take the lesson and avoid them to the extent possible, nothing dents their hubricity

i will buy a speed step above what the cpu runs at to allow for speed degradation of the ram memory over its lifetime if the cost is not much extra

but the cpu itself can track the degradation and adjust the speed down so it doesn’t really matter

just a little buying refinement given the relative costs which will vary

you’re a good artist, but not great enough to be completely unsuccessful

religions are systems of indoctrination that privilege retards and frauds as knowing more about what they twist and distort passing out that mangled product as truth

zen is a system of indoctrination that privileges retards and frauds as knowing more about what they twist and distort passing out that mangled product as truth

its really hard to appreciate charles bukowski’s genius given his alcoholism, but he comes up trumps in his last poem, its a list of the different modes of life available, but he chose writing !

the mountain that roared at midnight could possibly be  a reference  to  “ and the ravines of all the mountains roared that night with the voices of cities that had lain still for centuries ”

oh, forgive me for whom the bell tolls

oh, forgive me man who walked on water

oh, forgive me little old woman who lived in a shoe

oh, forgive me the mountain that roared at midnight

oh, forgive me the dumb sounds of night and day and death

oh, forgive me the death of the last beautiful panther

oh, forgive me all the sunken ships and defeated armies

this is my first internet poem

now its too late, i have been smitten

objectivity, the contradiction of solipsism

or is it ?

objectivity, the contradiction of solipsism

religion, the usual ignorant hubric rubbish by pretenders

zen, the usual ignorant hubric rubbish by pretenders

i have to vacuum the dust out of my noctua NH-U12S heatsink every month, dust always accumulates in high airflow areas, this is basic maintenance with a computer

“ when you drank, the world was still out there, but for the moment it didn’t have you by the throat ”

my  comment

well charles ,  (quote from factotum ) the problem is the alcohol has you by the throat and worse !

so many people when they come across something outside their experience work so hard to prove it doesn’t occur

in terms of mysticism, drugs are a short cut that doesn’t work

the inflammatory response in wound healing following lumpectomy or mastectomy  unleashes  cancer cells not in the actual tumour site

“ to close an open wound, the immune system must trigger cells to move to new locations and divide and blood vessels to grow which is precisely what goes on when cancers spread ”

something doesn’t become less fake because its defended aggressively

its not the language that’s important, but the sense of what is said

language can  sound  like anything, but the sense is invariant

we are all caught in the commonality of meaning, though languages differ

one of the more frightening effects of menopause is the huge drop in metabolic activity in the brain  !

“ monotony can be rather beautiful, yeah

landscapes that are monotonous like the prairies or like the fens or something like this is poetic, its mysterious, it doesn’t have points that you have to pay attention too, but has a kind of total effect that i think is beautiful ”

alice munroe

19:40

what i have noticed, especially in zen  is people  “ craft ”  enlightenment experiences, i wish i could say zen teachers weren’t fake, but 99.99% are delusional schizophrenics !

you have to have had enlightenment experiences as child, the adult brain is just not capable of the shifts required from a developmental point of view !

i don’t know why  brad , who i feel has had genuine experiences is so supportive of buddhism and zen, as mired in pretending and fakeness and stupidity as they are !

some idiot tries to tell me  “ when we are small children, every new experience is an enlightenment experience ”  and more dreary nonsense in the same vein

my  reply

why are you telling me this rot, obviously from the way i phrase it, i am taking about something totally out of the ordinary in terms of childhood or any human experience !

‘ remarkable ’  doesn’t even begin to hint at what they are !

its totally outside your experience and blind donkey you are, the world has to be the dull brick wall it is for you !

why are men so dependent on women ?

reliability is very important with ssd’s which can make the more expensive samsung an effective cost/benefit as any problems blow out into huge time down and labour costs

with your computer, you have to ask yourself, if the hdd or ssd dies what is needed to recover ?

the crazies on the net with their insane agendas  !

 these crazies on the net with their insane agendas  !

these crazies on the net with their insane agendas

when you power on a computer  (except for sleep) ,  the first thing it does is run a program to set up the hardware called the bios  (and it makes beep when its done this)

when its done this its ready to load win 10

a new motherboard will come with standard settings in the bios which are pretty ok, but as you get more sophisticated you will want to modify a few

what i have learnt is to never attempt to overclock or alter cpu or ram timings

the bios is the divide between the computer hardware and the operating system and apps

celiac disease is not as simple as an immune response to gluten, but has its roots in malign biofilm feeding on complex carbohydrates, potatoes and non wheat grains for instance can also be a problem

the world never wrote to emily

in her own hand ,  (toggle  full page )

interestingly the latest research shows she was not a hermit by any means !

blowsy nonsense ,  how can people be fooled ?

they  want  to be fooled !

there are several articles on the topic  (the migration of the yamnaya to england about 5000 years ago)  on the web, its not my business to inform you what doesn’t seem to fit your conceptual apparatus or your inability to read closely  !

why should i suck my attention dry to sort out what you are too lazy to do ?

mainly i think, education teaches people to be stupid

“ You are being so weirdly combative and angry when everybody else is being rational and polite, it is kind of hilarious

Such a pointless superiority complex ”

why not read your own reply, mr. peaceful and not weirdly combative in a world of overwhelming rationality and politeness ?

why artificial sweeteners don’t work is the sweet taste itself starts a metabolic chain in the body to utilize the sugar, but since there is no sugar, things get really fucked up !

the cultural experience of today’s young is limited to entertainment, so anything more sophisticated disturbs them !

why are reddit people so angry and intellectually lazy, getting all upset when their  faux opinions  are contradicted ?

why are reddit people so angry and intellectually lazy, getting all upset when their faux opinions are contradicted ?

why is reddit so full of angry people, you can’t post without  “ haters ”  jumping in on you !

the english, are in fact descended from the steppe people ,  the yamnaya

jason  writes

the coke mod has been part of the  “ ice poseidon community ”  for three years, i haven’t always been writing but i’ve been watching for a long time too

anyway he’s been part of caroline’s discord before but left before i got there, he actually asked me to invite him back several months ago and he joined and left the same day

well he joined back again last night, this morning i wake up and he also invited the other mod who gave me a  “ timeout ”  out of nerites’ discord when i called him out for not being around enough and also i posted a picture of  ‘ la belle dame sans merci ’  blessing one of her many knights

so they both come over there trying to harass me its insane

my  reply

well its like ewk on r|zen who pinches my material and pretends its his own all the while constantly harassing me

in the end i worked out the r|zen mods were happy for ewk to  “ rottweiler ”  people they didn’t like, so i left

“ so they both come over there trying to harass me its insane ”

what i have worked out is these people are actually insane because they are beyond reason, your only protection is from the streamers themselves and if they are not interested enough to protect you then walk

they are like guard dogs defending a little corner of the universe you don’t belong in, every growl they make is good advice to you   .   .   .

in addition if you live at all near one of these people you run the risk of physical violence, the more prominent you become, the more likely that is to happen, its not a zero risk   .   .   .

becuse they are insane, and what you say is  ‘ sane ’ ,  its too much for them and they will literally destroy anything that is so conflicting for them   .   .   .

that’s what insanity is, it holds to itself, it is just not modifiable   .   .   .

maud montgomery’s  disastrous  marriage to a schizophrenic

the uneveness of  mysticism

the verdict is in, homonins, not climate change  killed  the megafauna

you have to be very careful of the net/web with its statistically abnormal sub-populations, you can get everything from pyschwards to drug cliques, but the main one appears to be retarded self-con artists !

jason writes he feels better without nerites’ and her chat, it doesn’t make sense to go back

my comment was that they were too hostile to him !

jason writes he was feeling depressed and went on a half mile run and it really made him feel better

my  reply

yeah don’t overdo it and avoid breathing traffic fumes

you really need that sort of exercise every couple of days, i get it by stacking firewood, gardening, hunting wallaby etc

the trouble with bowling  ( with co-workers!)  is it isn’t aerobic enough and likely is not a good use of time

why doesn’t meditation work ?

why does it seem to produce nothing but narrow minded schizophrenics   ?

why doesn’t meditation work ?

why does it produce nothing but narrow minded schizophrenics  ?

you can’t understand something until you pull it to bits and put it together again

its a fraught process

i think that’s one of the limitations of meditation, its too passive  !

you can’t understand something until you pull it to bits and put it together again

why not explore instead of missionizing  ?

so simple ,  yet apparently so hard !

if your missionary view was correct you would simply arrive back at it, but of course you will find yourself in new, unknown and slightly scary territory !

why not explore instead of missionizing  ?

xanax sends people crazy eventually

jason  writes

i bought figs for five dollars and they were soft to touch so i thought that meant they were ripe, but when i had them with cream they didn’t have much flavor

my  reply

dried figs have a more intense flavour, fresh ones are bland i think

they may be laxative

jason  replies

if the figs are proper ripe they are very good, they’re hard to find like that though

my mother’s favorite fruit was figs

they grow well in portugal’s dry climate

germany, a strange language and a stupid humourless people !

people will use you for their entertainment, but you lose out

jason writes that he feels better being away from nerites’ discord and stream, that shit was a stressor

my  reply

drug users are a nightmare !

the political and cultural  context  of the  “ story of the stone ”  aka  “ the   dream  of red mansions ”

giuseppe castiglione

there’s no last word of zen because the protagonists died from a lack of interest ?

i don’t find marlon brando that great an actor, but what is  appealing  is his nonconformist intelligence !

what i find is people’s reading is too downmarket, you need to read quality thinkers and writers to get a sense of  “ the higher ground ”

the r|zen arguing techniques i really object to

and these are really hostile and dissing of the person being replied to

1.  not addressing what is asked

2.  reflecting back what is said in a distorted fashion

3.  running off in a different direction with statements full of erroneous assumptions that its impossible to deal with reasonably !

4.  in long thread, completely ignoring what was said previously on it except the last reply

in short its a hostile fest of missionizing pointlessness

you really don’t know how to write or think or a meaningful way ?

i’m not being nasty, its just you write junk and for what reason ?

to pass the time i guess ?

you’re a seasoned religionist  ?  well versed in writing intentionally confused nonsense ?

the world is awash in a sea of unmeaning, why contribute ?

you’re a seasoned r|zennist  ?  well versed in writing intentionally confused nonsense ?

the world is awash in a sea of unmeaning, why contribute ?

“ do you find a person boring if they lead an ordinary life ? ”

there’s no such thing as an  “ ordinary life ”

why is that oh ye who meditates ?

why are religious people so stupid and boring, really they take the cake for finding the most dull idiocy interesting !

why are zen people so stupid and boring, really they take the cake for finding the most dull idiocy interesting !

courtesy is to prevent the inevitable conflict should our real opinions about each other be expressed

jesus was fictional and a part of essene angelology !

you know the story about  brer rabbit  and the tar baby ?

drugs are a tar baby

video

so nerites is using hard drugs, there’s just nothing you can do except walk away, a big problem with the net is the way  “ druggies ”  dominate certain corners/areas, don’t waste your time on them

for some reason i am comfortable in asking questions in a normal context other people would find depressing or even suicidal

if i ask  “ what is the point of living ”  isn’t that meaningless ?

nerites basic issues are sleeping, diet etc, doesn’t matter what she does if she doesn’t address these, she will be derelict

if she is going to let insane drug arseholes be mean to you  (ed.  jason)  on the discord then that’s her choice

you have better things to do than run around trying to help a stupid bitch

don’t make her consequences your own

what i get with alice munroe is a sense of everything being unfinished, as life is and there is no comfy solution

its an odd sound, cats walking on the roof  !

what i write is so far in advance of what people can think about, they find it difficult !

what they revolt against is half understanding something and then not being able to grasp the other half, that half being ten or twenty years of yet to happen  (and most likely never to happen)  life observation and thinking about !

you can tell the insane they are insane ,  but it doesn’t help  !

the lost army of king cambyses the second was actually  defeated  on route to petubastis III’s stronghold at the dakhla oasis

the myth of being wiped out in a sandstorm is a reinvention by the persians, discomforted by their defeat, most likely by a very lesser force !

these people  (ed.  on r|zen)  trapped in the psych wards of their own minds are just seeking free entertainment from me, it took me a long time to learn that !

ssds are more reliable than hdds, but hdds die slowly usually while ssds can die without warning so you need to back up

if you are effective on the web message boards then sooner or later you will targeted by people who feel their agendas are being disrupted

years ago an upset grandmother  (she had chelated her grandchild and it had damaged her and she couldn't stand me on the autism message boards warning against chelation in case the parents of the child found out it was dangerous)  tried to get the police onto me as paedophile

also a group of mothers upset by my   anti-chelation page  banded together to get me banned from various autism help message boards

i’m not into that sort of hassle and just have my anti-chelation page up and those who want to can take the advice and those who don’t can go their own way !

in the early days on the net, people were a lot less guarded, in my time i have talked to a guy who killed a young woman he obsessed about in high school a year after our communication, he had been referred to me by some-one else concerned about him, he just wouldn’t see reason though the possibility of him killing her was not apparent then

the murder made the international news and it rang a bell and i looked him up and yes it was that person !

a guy in the uk who went to funerals of young girls uninvited and who he didn’t know at all

a guy who was going to come from florida to shoot me, interestingly info about him was plastered all over the net including a photo of him waving a handgun over his girlfriends head, i doxed his address ,  (he had a child but was no longer in a relationship with the child’s mother and lived with his father)  and the local police station contact, but his threats never came to anything and lol, he took my advice about using houston digestive enzymes and found them useful

a man who was going to shoot his boss and co-workers, fortunately he listened to reason about the shame and difficulty his family  (wife and kids)  would suffer

a parent who had a son on the autistic spectrum who was threating to castrate himself, i gave info about the negative health effects of the loss of hormones which is a problem that besets transgender operations, the negative health effects are so strong from the disrupted developmental path and even if the brain has strong components of the opposite sex, its still schizophrenic which is what you see in the reality of most sex change operations

the plus side of those days was that because it was early adopters, there were heaps of interesting intelligent people on, unlike today where its dominated by dunning-kruger stupids !

there were three pharmacies in town, recently a new chain store one opened and within the last two month the smallest, least busy  (and badly sited)  one closed

jason writes that he posted a couple dozen famous paintings to nerites, and she responded that she really likes them !

my  comment

yeah she needs educating about art, lift her out of the stupid masses

you can watch junk ,  ‘ but if you ask how is it junk ’ or even’‘ what is and isn’t junk ’ ,  its different

you can watch junk ,  ‘ but if you ask how is it junk ’ ,  its different

cindy busby is an  education  in facial expression !

what is it about canada and soaps ?

a country so mired in conventionality that poor acting and scripts are confused with quality ?

this from the countrymen and women of  alice munroe  ?

writing is a like very long journey and where you end up you cannot predict

writing is a like very long journey, and where you end up you cannot predict

writing is a like very long journey, where you end up you can’t predict

writing is a very long journey, where you end up you can’t predict

i think children are something between you and not actually you

media makes us dissociated from reality

the world seems to require a lot of energy to keep your head above water

be careful that the energy you do expend does that

the world seems to require a lot of energy to keep your head above water

you have to be careful of immuno suppression with supplementation

people are dunning-kruger about life

of necessity i guess

or

not

many

would

remain

only bitterness teaches you about life, the successful have no idea

alcohol sends people partly insane, there’s no wake-up call !

years ago i saw a photo on the web of a young jewish woman holding her son ,  they were sorta alone, even though a part of a large group of other jews in an eastern european country who had been rounded up that day and were only several hours away from being shot

the look on her face was indescribable

philosophy has no explanation for this

the ilse weber song  “ letter to my son ”  sung  by benete kahan

is it a mistake to try and remedy the world ?

is it not to ?

brad warner, is there some sort of award for the most missionary work leading to the least effect ?

you would be a clear winner !

christianity is science fiction, its angelology and the original mythicism is set in the heavens and around the moon !

explains  the world

arseholes breed better

single students had about six back burners on average, compared to those in committed relationships who had about five  on average

organization is secondary to understanding the deep structure

organization is secondary to understanding

ilse weber

wiegala

the talented crucified by the talentless

my reworking of the english translation

wiegala, wiegala, weier

the wind hums the lyre.

the reeds rustling its song

counterpointing the nightingale

wiegala, wiegala, weier

the wind humming on its lyre

wiegala, wiegala, werne,

the moon is the light of heaven

standing out from the darkened firmament

beauty amidst the ugliness

wiegala, wiegala, werne,

the moon is the light of heaven

wiegala, weigala, wille,

how silent is the world in this light

soundless and at peace

sleep past life my son, sleep has no pain

wiegala, wiegala, wille,

peace in a holy quiesence

marathon runners of the sort you have  photographed  are surprisingly unhealthy, enlarged hearts and joint problems !

jason quotes me and comments

“ random cards dealt from the deck  (ed.  tarot)  will be distorting, she actually wants to pick the cards she thinks most appropriate to discuss ! ”

she seems to really believe in the random magic of the cards

my  reply/comment

brittany doesn’t trust her own talent which is considerable, way better than random !

jane austen’s books are about a satisfactory life, but her own life was not satisfactory

why are actors and actresses so vapid and mentally nondescript ?

nerites wants to be very careful the mods work for her and serve her agenda

usually they will try to use her to serve their own agendas and cost her viewers, sounds like the cocaine/tattooed guy is like that

just lazy stupid young men

last night going out to get some firewood, going past the wheelbarrow

quite a large sound

it was full of purring cats and kittens !

last night going out to get some firewood, going past the wheelbarrow

quite a large sound

it was full of cats and kittens purring !

the problem with eating late at night is when sleeping the stomach action slows right down and food ferments which is biofilmic !

religious people take everything as being in the context of their religion, but what is that religion in the context of ?

zennists take everything as being in the context of zen, but what is zen in the context of ?

motherboards and power supplies both have heaps of capacitors, they act like voltage and current   “ shock absorbers ”  and are generally the first thing to wear out, so quality is important

japan makes the best quality electrolytic capacitors so having them in power supplies and not junk ones is important !

the people who becomes mods on the net, whether its message boards, reddit, streaming or discord are always the most stupid narrow minded individuals who move to dumb down everything to their level

the tyranny of the low reading aged !

people who becomes mods on the net, whether its message boards, reddit, streaming or discord are always the most stupid narrow minded individuals who move to dumb down everything to their level

the tyranny of the low reading aged !

i am reading the art of war, what i have worked out is a lot of people i have never thought of as enemies are in fact enemies and needed to be treated as such, for example, those loathsome hostile mongrels on r|zen, they are making a huge mistake with their wrangling nonsense, no-one in their right mind reads their bullshit, so leave them to their constant stabbing of each other, you are just having to put up with that such a thing and people exist, but the plus side is the way they quarantine themselves harmlessly !

video

text

temple grandin comes down  strongly  against computer games

i’m not so negative, its where they become consuming and become a substitute for direction in life, otherwise they can teach computer hardware and software skills !

she’s a survivor and one of the very few autistic spectrum to be deliberately celibate !

built  a generation before  “ rawhitiroa ”

bit of nostalgia , still has an ambience of an earlier time !

whether it happens or not

its an illusion

‘ mills and boon ’ ,  hallmark and jane austen are female drugs

‘ mills and boon ’  and hallmark are female drugs

‘ mills and boon ’  is a female drug

folate versus folic acid has become confusing, but they  are different 

you get folate in food eg silverbeet, avacado

supplement  “ folic acid ”  can be problematic for sleep, and now, just to confuse things, folic acid can be called folate, but they are not the same !

with intractable problems, you have to bide your time and put some potential avenues in place

it is futile to argue with  ‘ waste of time ’  idiots

i think when people go very anti resonable advice they are schizophrenic

i think when people go very anti

resonable advice they are schizophrenic

“ very few people have  any idea  of what they are talking about and most people have no idea at all ”

the patchwork  coverlet   ( 9/10ths the way down)  worked on by jane and cassandra austen and their mother

dog shows, the provenance of the gender blurred

significant reductions  in folate, vitamin D, and vitamin C in people with first-episode psychosis were found when compared with controls

the team observed that the difference in vitamin D levels between first-episode psychosis and controls was the most pronounced of all nutrients

jason  writes

brittany is trying to learn tarot for her next  ‘ interview ’

i told her how tarot can be used as therapy if you twist the general meanings of the cards to how you think the person needs help

my  comment

random cards dealt from the deck will be distorting, she actually wants to pick the cards she thinks most appropriate to discuss !

i think i’ve got the aussie flu

not too bad, but no appetite, sleep a lot, vomiting once, migraine, fatigue

i’m using not eating as a chance to fast, two days so far !

fasting revamps the immune system !

damn cruise ships !

what  you write  would make sense, if like john keats’s grecian urn the vase remained intact and whole, but he says the bride of quietness is a foster child

there is an argument about the relative toxicity of marijuana and alcohol

but the perspective is why be damaged by either, not that one is less damaging than the other !

there’s some mystery beyond the stars and moon

 why do i seem to be the only one interested in it ?

he had a choice, die a derelict or start to change direction

intelligent women can go blind about mate quality

some anyway

intelligent women can go blind about mate quality

one wife is trouble  enough

if you are interested, follow up  the fates  of his sons

“ not knowing is most intimate ”

 surely knowing is more intimate ?

“ my good opinion once lost, is lost forever ”

my good opinion once gained is subject to fluctuation

last night at dusk, i was leaning on the clothesline looking out at the sky and distant hills and suddenly had this vision from nowhere of an architectural/branchlike ceiling structure coming to a lot of ends that had an eye on the end, like teardrop pearls hanging down

what this means i do not know  ?

last night at dusk, i was leaning on the clothesline looking out at the sky and distant hills and suddenly had this vision from nowhere of an architectural/branchlike ceiling structure coming to a lot of ends that had an eye on the end, like pearls hanging down

what this means i do not know  ?

the further the time since i have posted on r|zen, the crazier it looks !

god the way they laud bullshit

joko beck has some prominence there, but really she is demented, her stuff is just c . r . a . z . y

without energy and neutered, a blunt chisel making something ugly

i spoke to her in november 1990 by phone when i was considering visiting her center on my way back from springwater in upstate new york to new zealand and she actually asked me not to come which in hindsight was more than reasonable on her part and really i think she was struggling with dementia at that point

dementia affects the brain at least 20 years before the symptoms become obvious, in actual fact i think she had been struggling for all the time of her involvement in zen

but the idiots lauding her bullshit   .   .   .   .

a baltasar gracián  quote

he that has satisfied his thirst turns his back on the well

men and women, soap opera beautiful

men are intimidated by their aunts

elizabeth gaskell, a five childed woman indirectly killed her friend charlotte brontë by encouraging her into a marriage with an inferior man she was not keen on and charlotte caught typhus from an old family servant which is not surprising since pregnancy supresses the immune system !

jason went to the beach yesterday and basically lectured out loud to himself for the three hours he was there

being in the sleep state, but conscious

an interesting  study

i’m not generally a fan of  insane art  but this is good !

the more personal, the better you write !

jason  writes

my diet was such shit today and probably for one particular reason, i had a sandwich from subway and it fried my brain.  an hour or after eating it i got so lethargic and tired

my  reply

i sometimes eat the filling and toss the bread

i decide this, you decide that

what is decided

wouldn’t fit in a hat

i decide this, you decide that

what is decided

isn’t worth a cow pat

nerites is still young enough to take things on board, the others  (ed.  brittany and caroline)  are too old, young as they still are

the streaming thing and level of contact is working for you  (ed. jason), what you are doing is right

they are friends not lovers is the right social distance

its basically meeting a need for female contact and being educated about them without a lot of the problems

the net is full of schizophrenics

they are drawn by what i say, but they can’t admit they are wrong, what can i do ?

mentally ill, they would hurt me if they could !

disgusting turds !

they are drawn by what i say, but they can’t admit they are wrong, what can i do ?

mentally ill, they would hurt me if they could !

they are drawn by what i say, but they can’t admit they are wrong, what can i do ?

being a prop-forward and drinking is not the best combination for brain health !

he was  sensible in getting out !

i think this is the strangest thing i have ever seen

so  very alien

the trouble with fame is its one versus many and there will always be some who can find the weak spot !

the trouble with fame is its one versus many and there will always be at least some who can find the weak spot !

the trouble with fame is its one versus many and there will always be at least one who can find the weak spot !

mgtow, all the sad tales of men bonding with women who don’t bond

steve jobs may have been an outstanding success by most standards, but actually from a life point of view, he wasn’t

zen screwed him up

so many clones

hard to fathom  the world’s stupidity

i don’t think you can hold eihei dogen accountable for what followed, but making a religion out of what is a denial of religion is an impossibility !

he can be himself with  the heads  which is what makes them outstanding

0:54  and  1:07

having a low reading age isn’t going to get you as far in life as you might think

ronin hits a nadir

trying to out poeticize zaddar

like a fake he can’t hack it

like a flake he’s too slackit !

“ under the moonlight there is no need for colour ”

i think moonlight more than most light, textures from the surface it is on

you fall in love, you help bring up these strange animals that are only half you, life is weird

you fall in love, you help bring up these strange animals that are half you, life is weird

you fall in love, you bring up these strange animals that are half you, life is weird

unconcious incompetence, concious incompetence, concious competence, unconcious competence

unconcious incompetence, concious incompetence, unconcious competence, concious competence

it is the nature of the world ,  rejection by mediocrity means you are getting something right  !

it is the nature of the world ,  rejection by mediocrity means you are getting something right

jason seems to be dissing my computer experience !

getting more computer than you need doesn’t simply cost you heaps more but is also way less reliable

look four cores is optimum for most computing tasks, the exception is a lot of parallel processing for workstation type graphics applications

six core will be slower for your uses !

spending more money doesn't get you a better machine, in fact for most uses it gets you a worse !

match your workload to the hardware !

spend the money in the right places !

you don’t take a space shuttle to get to the next city over !

love is a mist that steals over all blurring   .   .   .

love is a mist that steals over all blurring

when dealing with distortion ,  you have to use the distortion to see clearly

its hard to be in love without knowing whether its requited and generally it isn’t

its hard to be in love without knowing whether its requited

somethings are so delicate, you can’t talk about them or you will disturb them

somethings are so delicate, you can’t talk about it or you will disturb it

i can’t talk to anyone

they  just

switch . off

i do a lot of  “ trawling ”  on the net and every now and then you find something that really hits it

completely unnoticed

this is  goodbye

 the music, the scarf, the beauty of annihilation   .   .   .

the hallmark channel, an entire universe of female attention slipped quietly on the edge of the world out of male sight

why is my experience so poisoned ?

jason wrote that he went to the park several weeks ago and part of it consisted of him calling the people he has to deal with  ‘ brain dead retards ’  and a host of other words

“ we need to consider emotional intelligence as a  crucial skill  to function in our society ”

oleic acid  displaces  omega-3’s !

there’s who wears the pants and who really wears the pants

politicians can’t be be better than their electorates

how can politicians be better than their electorates ?

people seem to have so much trouble with some-one doing something better than them

people seem to have trouble with some-one doing something better than them

be reserved and cautious in talking  to an ex

you can’t be frank at all, but observe to see how the ground will lie

“ stop wasting your time caring about those who are too stupid to see how valuable you are ”

i think actors are basically empty headed, i don’t know why ?

a sort of tabula rasa for other people to get   more easily   through life ?

computing is always changing, its difficult to get used to

re gaming, imo getting involved in that is not a good idea, fruitlessly time consuming !

i use cream as an anti-biofilmic, i do think taking vitamin D and K are necessary to counteract  the problems

to read the romance genre is really to walk right into the female mind, its aptitudes and concerns

i find nothing stranger than the differences between the sexes, the acceptance of their roles and a lack of questioning about life

life is just endless tragedy, why can’t it be otherwise ?

stalin couldn’t kill his mother or his daughter.  he half killed one of his sons, everybody else was fair game

everybody

i had a sister named clare

who could run like a hare

but a hare’s not fast enough

when lions is after us !

she went on a riding safari in africa last year and in one photo you could see lionesses extremely well camouflaged through the foliage !

she’s off again soon !

how very recursive, american modernism ,  being sued  by your own daughter for making her your daughter !

i think elizabeth and darcy are autistic enough to be deeply disturbed by the loss of self identity that love entails, and that’s why both at such a late age were  “ unencumbered ”

all the power of  the story  derives from this trauma to them !

i eat a lot of fat and  this study  is making me think, especially since i am getting very bad migraine !

journal

this blog is my  “ room of my own ”

this blog  is your  “ room of your own ”

what people ignore about jane austen and virginia woolf are their difficult lives and deaths, who wants to be a great writer ?

what people ignore about jane austen and virginia woolf are their difficult deaths and lives, who wants to be a great writer ?

what people ignore about jane austen and virginia woolf are their difficult deaths, who wants to be a great writer ?

there’s really no ideology for life except your own experience

its an intrusion by insensitive idiots to be asked to smile, you only have to think what the effect is if someone asks you to smile to see the problems

the way parents suffer with those monsters called children

a baltasar gracián quote

“ without courage, wisdom bears no fruit ”

there’s a number of translations on the web, he’s very good

i’d go further

if you are afraid to be yourself, you will shrivel

r|zen is full of fear !

a baltasar gracián quote

“ without courage, wisdom bears no fruit ”

there’s a number of translations on the web, he’s very good

i’d go further

if you are afraid to be yourself, you will shrivel

you are imagining a conceptual framework outside your own experience, really such a thing doesn’t exist

you are imagining a conceptual framework outside your own discovery, really such a thing doesn’t exist

you are imagining a conceptual framework outside your own discovery

after the service at my grandmothers funeral, i stayed a while and really, i had become just a boy thinking about his grandmother

“ recently i attended a funeral ceremony for the daughter of an acquaintance

i was not close to the daughter, but while at the ceremony i became emotional and started to cry

somebody asked me  :  why are you crying ?

as if it was strange that i would shed tears for a person who was not close to me ”

my  comment

in all the rubbish written on r|zen, something sincere ?

well, that was a very good bit of writing, i was surprised

the person who asked you had some sort of agenda, disturbed by the way death breaks down boundaries

her  reply

it was my drunk husband.  when i reminded him of it, mentioning the post, he replied  :  well, i can be kind of stupid at times

it was an example that taught me not to let the  “ real me ”  out in polite company.  such conditioning !!

thanks for the compliment on the writing.  go ahead; feed my ego !

my reply

you have a gift and it will always disturb people, you just have to develop skills to let it all slough off

no matter what you do, everyone will be disturbed, i can’t even speak without my relatives being disturbed !

you may have seen what happens when i post on r|zen !

just even expressing yourself bends people out of their comfort zones !

a person who gives really good advice on social skills is the jesuit priest, baltasar gracián

the undercurrent of pride and prejudice is the pain of jane austen’s life which never fit ,  not even life in the end

somethings i can see that no-one else does, and other things i can’t see at all

gesshin is  conflicted 

“ i carry so many men’s secrets.  so many successful, famous, buddhist men’s secrets.  men who have hurt me and who have hurt my friends.  i have so many names.  the priest who beats his wife.  the famous teacher who sleeps with younger women.  the other famous teacher who sleeps with younger women ”

nothing upsets a woman more than when she goes off with another man and you applaud

“ i should write him a check ”

i got the  “ get out of jail free ”  card !

isn’t the greatness of george eliot’s writings due her masculine more than her feminine side ?

brandon dewilde, an intelligent child,   no hint  of his early death at thirty when he lost control of his vehicle in a rainstorm !

i was thinking fame is like an intense lens that takes the usual viewing light to create an intense focus that burns and destroys people

i was thinking publicity is like an intense lens that takes the usual viewing light to create an intense focus that burns and destroys people

when interacting with drug users, its helpful to know what they use, you can pin them much better as to the problems you expect with them !

when dealing with drug users, its helpful to know what they use, you can pin them much better as to the problems you expect dealing with them !

well maybe  “ dealing ”  is not such a good word in this context

i was wandering up the paddock looking for mushrooms  (they were not very good, too cold to grow large enough)  and there was this huge weird shape on the side of the hill on the left ahead ,  it looked like an eagle, surreal and that’s what it was, the largest i have seen !

i moved slowly, being quite still at times, but picking mushrooms it was disturbed by me and flew off to land further away, then flew off again to be hounded in flight by magpies and i think, a large flock of starlings !

it was startling to see that profile looming so large on the hillside  !

ed.  a tasmanian wedge-tailed eagle and most likely female as they are larger

blue is a terrible room colour

i really don’t give advice, everything is learning

we can understand something intellectually, but sometimes it takes years of punishment to get the message

i went out last night and shot a wallaby, a possum and picked up a wallaby roadkill, probably run over early evening, but possibly from the night before

i did this to get the brains to eat for myself and the carcasses for the feral cats

after the gutting i got to bed at 4 am

compared to anything else i do, this is sane

the cats are happy

nerites is self medicating with drugs rather than sorting out her insomnia by attention to the circadian rhythm  and supplements ,  what can i say ?

i think basically she’s abit schizophrenic

there is nothing more boring and stupid than a church service !

you can’t explain stupidity in a psychward

johnathan  asks

at what point in your life did you start focusing on nutrition and supplements ?

my  reply

decent supplements and quality dietary and health research has only been available in the last ten years, especially with the internet

the research improvements have been huge to the extent i gave up on the moronic masses and rely almost entirely on research and my own experience now, unhealthy people are too stupid !

surreal ,  another  ‘ the death  of stalin ’   !

there’s no audience in nostalgia, or not much

all my observation of heavy marijuana users is it fucks the hippocampus regardless

some people are way more affected than others depending on how much  BDNF  they have

where am i going ?

i am completely at sea

let the waves wash over me

blah   blah

audio

where am i going ?

i am completely at sea

let the waves wash over me

where am i going

i am completely at sea

let the waves wash over me

there is no today tomorrow yesterday

all a passing dream

the axe falls

and even the dream passes

or does it ?

there is no today tomorrow yesterday

all a passing dream

the axe falls

and even the dream passes

there is no today tomorrow yesterday

all a passing dream

there is no today tomorrow yesterday

the big thing with pot and i have seen it again and again is it subtley fucks the memory so people go in circles, takes out the hippocampus for a start !

islam, a nonsense term, gabbling by idiots ascribing sense where there is none !

christianity, a nonsense term, gabbling by idiots ascribing sense where there is none !

zen, a nonsense term, gabbling by idiots ascribing sense where there is none !

zen, a nonsense term, the gabbling by idiots ascribing sense where there is none !

the whole problem of religion is people treating as real what is a rather deranged imaginary tableaux

charles dodgson’s  photo  of the pubescent lorina liddell

lorina’s feeling of ambiguity comes across clearly and it seems to mark a transition from charles’s dream world to the real world that we know charles was not comfortable with !

back stiffness is a  neurological construct  designed to prevent further damage

isn’t evolution wonderful ?

rather than design a more robust back, it cheats with neurological constructs !

jason  asks

what i was doing in the summer last year was running a half mile as hard as i could, is that too much ?

my  reply

only run hard in short bursts and when you are quite warm, most of a run should be a jog, half a mile or .8 of a kilometer might be about right

don’t run when ill or weak or the air is too cold, in a new york winter you need to exercise inside

take it from buddha, its better to go hungry than eat food from a doubtful source

i take a bit of taurine when going to town, its a good immune stimulant, but makes arthritis worse so i only take it when needed

a view  of the monuments of easter island  c. 1775–1776  by william hodges

very dali-esque, i would not be suprised if he had seen it, the  “ great plagiarist ”  !

you’re a brain dead retard

with a single digit reading age !

babies want breasts, sperm wants vaginas

what do men want

what would the servants know of the desires of the masters ?

babies want breasts, sperm wants vaginas

what do men want

what would the servant know of the desires of the masters ?

babies want breasts, sperm wants vaginas

what do men want

what would the servant know of the desires of the master ?

wow, i didn’t realise cocaine was so  destructive  !

case 22 of the book of serenity

when yantou visited deshan, he stood across the sill and asked,  “ is this holy or prosaic ? ”

my  reply

 why do you ask ?

case 22 of the book of serenity

when yantou visited deshan, he stood across the threshold and asked,  “ is this holy or prosaic ? ”

my  reply

 why do you ask ?

when your enemies are making a mistake, don’t interrupt them

the chinese communist party had its origins in the boxer rebellion and now the new emperor  ( 2018  —  xi jinping )  has been annointed !

working class or peasant rebellions are always doomed through a lack of intelligent leadership !

humans, a species applauding the poorly targeted, all the while writhing on an arrow through the heart

deep sadnesses settle in

about

past

behavior

“ how do you handle the toxicity of truth ”

truth is not toxic, but you have to make your own observations

poor little downvoter

a reading age of three

gets upset

when

he can’t find

janet

and

john

poor little downvoter

a reading age of three

gets upset

when

there’s

no

janet

and

john

some sense  on back pain by dr. jolie bookspan

what i like is  her approach  is not to do exercises but use daily life and chores to move right !

i mentioned to jason i thought nerites/sabrina might be suicidal

he replied

what causes someone to be suicidal ?  can it be cured ?

my  reply

can life be cured ?

lycopene has anti-inflammatory and  anti-coagulant  activities

its also an  anti-oxidant

i find cooked watermelon does something for me !

claire greenwood, your writing gets interesting when you get stressed i am afraid

where you are comfortable, you write blather

buddhism is just some panacea for the mentally sub-normal

what is zen  ?

since i have been nominated as the most enlightened person on r|zen despite my not posting there  (now that’s enlightened!)  and there is a bit of r|zen traffic as a consequence here, why not toss the proles a bone or two ?

ok ,  “ what is zen ”  is three words and it took me a long time to work out a satisfactory answer because of the public domain nature of the word, that is, from the public domain viewpoint its not very meaningful as people try to craft their own idiosyncratic definitions so far away from more generally accepted ideas as per public domain possibilities like  “ real life zen ”

that’s to say what zen is ,  is to just founder in a hopeless morass and perhaps to hold various idiots there, stuck, is in the nature of a service to sanity !

anyway to answer the original question, since it comes in the context of the public domain requires broad experience across the various public domain meanings to successfully deconstruct it and one of the elements of that deconstruction is real life experience of zen which means that r|zen is and will remain just a gratuitous bog of the writhings of the insane

similarly real life zen with its anti intellectual and anti wide reading stance also remains in such a bog

when however you have a broad experience about what might be called zen , you can crystallise something semantically coherent which in fact is that zen is a celibate mystical tradition in a doctrinally permissive social context which is almost unique historically since religions with any social power are forcefully prescriptive !

there you are, a lot of words in a semantically dense context, too heavy for the proles, let them writhe on !

a claim that the voynich manuscript  is written  in a phonetic old turkish !

jonathan observes

For the longest time I’ve always wondered why you got upset when people would harass you where they’d just jump right in and spew their shit

And then it happened to me

Some random guy chimed in when I was just doing my own thing and it stressed me out a little

That’s something you deal with on a daily basis though from multiple people

I would lose my shit if that happened to me

well james packer, you may  be crazy , but you are also a fool

alcohol, overweight, a screwed diet, no exercise, mendacious women, and now you will be dancing in the maw of a medical hell, boston at this time  of year ,  now that’s insane !

at least 7  downvotes  in sum, people with IBS and crohns are among the most narrow minded i have come across !

jason  writes

i think nerites is interested in me, she’s always repeating things i’ve said outside of stream

for example she got a red dress for her aunt’s wedding she's going to in a couple days, she commented that it was like blood   .  .  so i repeated what i’ve heard you say which is  “ women like pink cuz it's the color of diluted blood ” ,  which she repeated on stream

there is scarcely any tomorrow or yesterday

how can one focus on today ?

there is scarcely any tomorrow or yesterday

people lost in the daily rabbling

but there is something else entirely different going on

people lost in the daily rabbling

but there is something else entirely going on

women can be very irrational on the subject of exes

women are very irrational on the subject of exes

avatamsaka sutra

things are not as they appear, nor are they otherwise

my  reworking

the world is an illusion, but the illusion is real ?

louis the XIV was an  impressario genius  of sorts and turned that skill to running what was effectively the empire of france !

a man says i give rise to myself through sons and daughters

a woman says i give rise to myself through daughters and sons

a man says i give rise to myself in sons and daughters

audio

life is so fraught you can’t advise anybody about anything

you have to be outside the machine to understand how it works, i think woody allen suffers from being too much in the machine

he seems to follow some dream of young women being in love with and marrying older men

‘ magic in the moonlight ’  has strong elements of mystical understanding, but it  falls apart  from tensions inducted by too many spurious directions !

stupidity without humility, the human race

stupidity without humility, the human male

sometimes you see something that is completely off the wall

mary ellis flew a meteor without any instructions at all

that would make her one of the most  exceptional  pilots of world war II !

more

germany was always hampered by its failure to utilise women in the workforce, the most egregious example was the escape of  lise meitner ,  one of the leading nuclear scientists to sweden

when i write this, i think of the reverend clem gordon who worked in blood research during world war II and later founded the st. isaacs hermitage near opononi in the hokianga !

there is another world, truer, saner, more beautiful

it upset me that the malignant tards of r|zen are reading my subreddit , cancers on the face of intelligence !

charles bukowski love poem  to Marina ,  pages two and three

religions are systems of cretinism

zen is a system of cretinism

why do i get the most atrocious people following me ?

if you think you are all so right with your drugs, religion, texts, wives, girlfriends, children, empty basements, then go back to them and stop bugging me !

taking LSD just generates/inducts voynich, meaningless  junk

it must leave a remanence of brain damage because i have never come across even one user of lsd with any genuine  ‘ spiritual ’  insight !

if drugs were as good as the druggies claim, i wouldn’t be writing poetry  !

if drugs were as good as the druggies claim, i wouldn’t be writing poetry

don’t give any quarter to fakes  !

don’t give any quarter to fakes

i have always wondered why charles bukowski didn’t pursue  his cartoons  more, he was talented and it could have brought his publishing success into the mainstream !

the alcohol, i guess  !

lol, jason finally gets it !

he quotes me

i do think its a personality trait with you  (ed. jason)  to be unappreciative of how things are always off target and every time you dig a bit deeper, it will look different

his reply

yes its like i don’t believe it works that way

to flow what

space and time

and have the world

run

in

whorls

and

loops

i’m always running scared of life

with justification  !

i’m always running scared of life

i’m always running scared of life

if you are in a psychward, you must belong in a pyschward

why do all these female zen roshis look like super butch thugs ?

because they are super butch thugs ?

vodka

I

II

III

nerites  paints  well

zoe winters  and myself, our email exchange, two demons inadvertently courting each other and suddenly realising we didn’t like each other, kabomph  skedattle

audio

recording made on the 29th february 2012

time warp, some old recordings from february 2012, six years ago

look, we are all fools, incompetent in different contexts

audio

and i had it in for ramana maharshi for some reason who i called a schizophrenic nut both by full and single names in separate recordings !

those looking for peace

when the dragon of war

pokes up its head

are

dreamers

joan tollifson makes an interesting comment on  “ dai kensho ”

she is talking from the perspective of one it has never happened to and as she says its exceedingly rare, but seems to think that  “ gradual ”  traces the same ground !

unfortunately my experience is there is no substitute for the  “ sudden awakening ”  it completely blows you off the planet and its easy to tell those who it has happened to and those it hasn’t !

druggies seem to think they have this experience, but of course they haven’t !

anyway ,  joan’s  comment  below

some people, e.g. eckhart tolle, apparently do experience a sudden, dramatic, complete, permanent shift from being lost in the swirl of emotion-thought to being awake to the simplicity of here-now

what they wake up to is here right now for all of us, fully present, it is simply overlooked by most people most of the time because the attention is focused on the thought-stories

sudden awakenings of this kind are rare, as eckhart himself says

for most of us, it is a much more gradual unfolding  —  with lightbulb moments of great clarity along the way perhaps, and moments of being free from the thought-story and simply present and awake here-now  —  but not the kind of dramatic, lasting shift that eckhart had

wanting to have what eckhart had, or striving for it, is just a form of suffering, as eckhart would be the first to point out

i’m quite certain that some teachers even construct an awakening story because they think that’s what they’re supposed to have  —  they may even believe in their own construction

i watched my own mind trying to do this at one point  —  i may even have written about it in my second book, awake in the heartland  —  but thankfully, i had toni packer as a teacher, and i couldn’t con myself in this way  —  i saw through it too clearly

also, for what its worth, people who know eckhart tolle personally have told me that he sometimes gets upset

i don’t know if that’s true, but i wouldn’t assume that he  (or anyone else)  is totally “ beyond it all ”  and especially if they claim that they are !

“ how is today like yesterday ? ”

it isn’t

it

 already isn’t !

my  reworking  of the dialogue, chapter 15, of  “ the sayings of layman p’ang  :  a zen classic of china ”

where am i going ?

what is there ?

what am i doing ?

where am i going

what is there

what am i doing

jason’s streamer interests

nerites the slightly crazed, caroline the three quarters talented, brittany the intelligent mongrel

unending is a diffcult concept to grasp, because ,  by its nature

it

is unending

the multiverse theory is slowly gaining  traction

i do think its a personality trait with you  (ed.  jason)  to be unappreciative of how things are always off target and every time you dig a bit deeper, it will look different

i do think its a personality trait with you to be unappreciative of how things are always off target and every time you dig a bit deeper, it will look different

everything just goes around in endless circles

be wary of interfering in the lives of others

it breaks down the barriers between you and makes you too much them

be wary of interfering in the lives of others

the unfortunate fact of life is work requires ditching a lot of other interests or we will come to grief !

half the trick is still to get some benefit from those interests which means lines have to be drawn more into the serendipity area !

this homily is serendipitous !

the unfortunate fact of life is work requires ditching a lot of other interests or we will come to grief !

half the trick is still to get some benefit from those interests which means lines have to be drawn more into the serendipity area !

lorianne disabato took some absolutely superb photos at an exhibition of  fra angelico

now the  “ coronation  of the virgin ”  is bullshit ,  but  “ christ crowned  with thorns  ”  is not !

god, i am going out, where have i been, where have i come from ?

you can’t force some-one who has turned away from you to turn towards you

they have turned away from you for a reason and its often to their discredit

jane eyre is really about the eroding destructiveness of insanity close to us or even within ourselves

jane eyre is really about the eroding destructiveness of insanity close to us or even in ourselves

audio

jane eyre  is really about the eroding destructiveness of insanity close to us or even in ourselves

all philosophy springs from fantasy, without fantasy you don’t have enough dimensions

the two basic errors that define  “ scripturalism ”

firstly, they don’t allow for changed views from their source

secondly they are totally unable to comprehend the extent to which the translator filters or projects the translation and the extent of philological problems !

they are no more than robots pushing pieces of paper in front of you claiming this action represents   “ truth ”

part of not having to be anything

is not having to be right

part of not having to be anything, is not having to be right

the intersect between philosophy and mysticism is an interesting one

i think the problem is philosophy never abandons itself

mysticism does and as a consequence reaches the highest truth

alexandra trusova, age 13, at her performing peak

fluffy toy 

we all go through life just making the same mistakes over again and again, it amazes me how certain it is !

“ life is meaningless ”

life is not meaningless, its more that a lot of what we do is anti-meaning

“ life is meaningless ”

life is not meaningless, its more that alot of what we do is anti-meaning

was jane austen good with children ?

she was certainly  anti-natal  !

the  maxims  of baltasar gracián

a lot of one’s concerns are effete compared to  the reality  in syria

jane austin and lewis carroll were mystics

‘ pride and prejudice ’  and   ‘ alice through the looking glass ’  are the english language’s deepest mystical texts

‘ fifty shades of grey ’  and   ‘ the new testament ’  would be neck and neck for the shallowest !

‘ pride and prejudice ’  and   ‘ alice through the looking glass ’  are the english languages deepest mystical texts

“ cognitive curiosity, cognitive ability, melancholy, and introversion predict social psychological  skill  ”

stephen hawkings left a caring family and jumped willingly into the maws of  hell  !

jason  writes

i’ve been sleeping on my stomach and only use a little part of the pillow

my  reply

dunno about sleep positions, i have my head a bit raised and sleep on my side

i have normal eye pressures but sleeping with the head a bit raised does help with glaucoma ?

what  dreary  stupid people

upper class england

history makes sense of the world in ways contemporary views can never touch

jane austen’s  real life  was much more  “ alice in wonderlandy ”  than her fiction

by contrast her fiction was of a much more ordered, rational and coherent world

brad warner quotes nishijima roshi

every moment is carved into the universe

my  reply

didn’t buddha say  “ every universe is carved into the moment ? ”

eileen, as much as anyone ever has been for me, you have been for me

as much as anyone ever has been for me, you have been for me

the knights of old at least  fought  for loot !

they don’t know me, everyone tells me i don’t know them, but i know them but they cannot approach knowing me   .   .   .

interestingly, the protective  persistence  of flu vaccines is not very long, three to four months so the timing is important !

“ typically, the flu season affects australia from june to september, with the peak being august ”

jason writes that  (the streamer)  caroline’s brother almost died from a heroin overdose

he was officially pronounced dead, revived, and now has 70% mass missing from his legs, can’t walk and has brain damage

my  comment

better to have jumped off a building, these revivals are just crazy !

a sad event all around ! : o(

to live by yourself is difficult and requires a lot of skill

i’ve seen this new artform on youtube done very effectively, i think in part to get around copyright, but at its best its quite a bit more

basically they take a song and then edit a film  to match  the song

looking back on r|zen, its like being a gladiator who has somehow climbed out and is now in the spectator seats

its not a trivial matter to leave the fray and the closer i get to returning the louder the alarm bells start ringing, but they are not needed, the fighting is now repugnant to me

anyway the mods have made it very clear they don’t want me by deleting the best half of my  OPs !

there’s something in  this scene  where elizabeth accidently peeps through a door on mr. darcy and his sister georgina

one is a stranger yet recognized ?

even more, one is welcome ?

pemberly  =  chatswood, i have been there, got lost in the woods and never went inside !

marvellous grounds and water !

sometimes you realise that what you do is enough, you don’t have to do anything else

the world has to go its own way, avoid interfering even though they may want you to or their requests to do so are disguised

one of the themes of jane austen is how women don’t understand things and have to explore through action

very unsettling for men of course

one of the themes of jane austen is how women don’t understand things and have to explore through action

you can’t exist in the world without accommodating it to some extent

isn’t religion some pretense of something there but is in fact meaningless nonsense ?

isn’t religion some pretense of something there but is meaningless nonsense ?

through history things can make sense, but without history they don’t

i don’t know which is right, probably the latter

through history things can make sense, but without history they don’t

if you are working in an underpaid job, let gaining knowledge and experience guide you, that way you are being properly paid

with computers technical knowledge goes a long way

brad warner doesn’t like being shown up !

brad, you can hold kobun chino in reverence, to me he is just another failed hack and his most famous protege, steve jobs didn’t benefit by his association with him !

since brad is threatening to delete me the  ‘ conversation ’  is as below

me in response to this  video  of brad’s

what about the pain of you and your daughter drowning because you never learnt to swim ?

ed. kobun and his daughter drowned ineptly in a private swimming pool in switzerland

brad does something he is very good at, getting stupidly self righteous

That is an extremely unkind and nasty comment.  Another one like that and I’m going to start deleting your comments

my  reply

in other words that’s how you deal with dissent ?

i had assumed as a writer you were intelligent enough to see what my remark was about ?

what was my remark really saying ?

“ you notice that pain is always there, you only just noticed it ”

‘ alice in wonderland ’  bears a startling and subtle similarity to jane austin’s   ‘ pride and prejudice ’  to the extent it makes me wonder  .  .  !

young women of twenty have a huge power and think the whole world revolves around them

it doesn’t

its in later years it does, they control the reins !

the genius of pride and prejudice is portrayals of the different paradigms of how people are, from outright insanity to the normal hubric blindness to intelligent observation

mr. bennet to his daughters

i have bred you lot and you are traitors all

men are never so foolish as when talking about themselves

women ,  not quite so   .   .

pride and prejudice, all the craziness of male and female

all the craziness of male and female

the manner of death does somewhat reflect on the life

taizan maezumi drowning drunken in the bath

kobun and his daughter drowning because he never learnt to swim ?

i just want to cry, cry cry cry

i just want to cry, cry cry

its all back and forth, everything goes back and forth

it beats me why life has to be a nightmare

but it bloody well does

everything requires energy, the expenditure of energy

the 13th of march, new york and jason is ill

should i not be eating ?

i’ve been sneezing, stuffy nose, had a sore throat yesterday and i have a fever

my  reply

that’s the virus my neighbour has just had, yeah eat minimally, your body will tell you

we may be an ocean and continent apart but cruise ships close the gap !

its odd, but my real life experience of zen exactly matches my net experience of zen, complete dunning-kruger idiots utterly unable to grasp they have their understanding is very wrong and are completely resistant to moving in the right direction

aging, day by day the decrements slowly creep in

aging, day by day the decrements creep in slowly

the world is not rational and never can be

right turns to wrong and wrong turns to right !

the world is not rational and never can be

how the ultra wealthy  live ,  i wouldn’t pay thirty cents to live in it

it makes me fatigued just to look at the amount of walking you have to do to get anywhere !

they would have staff to do everything of course and wouldn’t cook for themselves   .   .   .

its funny that christians don’t take the obvious conclusion of there not being  “ god’s justice ”  on earth, that god is not all powerful !

this  painting  by marc fishman is surprisingly consonant with the earliest christian/essene  “ angelology ” ,  except the earth should be the moon and much larger, the armed figure jesus who fought lucifer on a battleground below the moon and jesus and his army lost, jesus was killed and buried below the moon and was raised from the dead

discretion is like the walls of a city, you are empowered by concealing your vulnerabilities

jason writes that brittany thinks she’s not autistic

my  comment

her intelligence comes from gender blurring, therefore, tautologically she’s autistic !

you have a degree of stupidity with depression, depression at least should lead one to being open, but for you the trap door has snapped shut !

you have a degree of stupidity with depression, depression at least should lead one to being open, but for you  (claire greenwood)  the trap door has snapped shut !

western buddhism is a christian  make-over  of the asian, it really has quite a different flavour !

those who impose their own views without listening to others necessarily offend people

that’s not wrong, but it gets tiring !

wow,  ice poseidon gets  swatted

ice is  not happy  and i don’t blame him, the police should be able to identify the  “ prankster ” ,  its their issue of not putting resources into tracking whoever it was or getting better ID when the call was made !

a chopped away heart

chopped away

chopped away

jason  writes

well nerites blocked me instagram when i commented that she’d look better without makeup

my  reply/comment

i think she’s a bit schizophrenic on top of the autism, not a good combination, be warned  !

she will suck you dry and kill you, the only protection is distance !

black ink  tattoos are the highest in nanoparticles

why people pay to have some-one else’s bad art  indelibly  etched on  them  i don’t know ! ?

fra angelico’s  painting  “ christ crowned with thorns ”

the basic  comprehension  problems of young americans is very noticable on the web !

difficult concepts are like brick walls to them and they seem stuck in a  “ refutation play ”  of antagonistic distortion !

“ treat the world as though it doesn’t exist ”

it doesn’t exist, but if you treat it as though it doesn’t exist then you are coming from it existing, then treating it as though it doesn’t exist which isn’t the same thing !

what women  go through

the less than mediocre

artistically untalented, hubric, self-injuring

deliberate time wasting of the competent

artistically untalented, hubric, self-injuring

deliberate time wasting of the competent

jason links nerites  latest moderator

my reply

he’s permanently damaged himself with that tattoo

the  music  is a waste of time

the world is full of hubric mediocrities or way worse as in this case

what you find is that when you reach a certain level of understanding, hardly anyone will ever match you, so what you get is endless idiots so convinced of their own competence and supremacy that you are some sort of insult to them so they spend their time and lives wasting yours and they are quite happy to do this !

some people find life satisfactory

others don’t find it at all satisfactory

some people find life satisfactory

others don’t find it satisfactory

you can simply refute from birth to death, but there’s nothing left for you